Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Only Wedding Checklist You'll Ever Need

I'm planning a short series of posts with helpful tips I learned while planning my own wedding over the past year, but before I begin posting any monthly checklists or what to look for in a wedding dress or how to narrow down your guest list, I thought it was important to start with the only things you really need to know before you get married:

Do you love your partner? Do you respect your partner? Do you trust your partner? Do you feel he or she loves, respects and trusts you? Does he or she act like it, both in private and in public?

Have you two talked about: where you want to live, your career plans, how that will affect your family plans, how many children you want to have (if any? and when?), what you would do if you wanted children and couldn't conceive, your spiritual views, your political views (and are you okay with them differing, if that's the case?), your past relationships, your dreams for the future?

Have you met each other families? Do you like them? If not, can you be happy with that?

Have you discussed finances? Do you know how much debt your partner is bringing to the marriage? Have you told him or her about yours? Have you decided how you will handle bank accounts and credit cards? Do you want to buy a home or rent an apartment? Will you make and follow a household budget?

Do you agree on what marriage means? Have you discussed how your relationship will change once you are married? What about your physical relationship? How about your social relationships with other people in your lives? Do you have the same expectations regarding the roles and responsibilities of each person in the marriage?

Will being married stop you from achieving any of your goals? What about your partner's?

Can you picture your life with your partner 80 years from now? Or 90, or even 100, with the way science is going?

Of course there are many nuances to these questions that should also be discussed (e.g. Whose family will you spend which holidays with? How would you handle one person losing their source of income? How often do you hope to travel?), but my hope for this list is that it offers a nice starting point for any couple that is considering marriage.

If you are married, what "big" questions did you discuss with your partner before tying the knot? If you are not married yet, are there any conditions your partner must satisfy before you will agree to marriage?

Photograph by Kori & Jared Photography. Wedding dress from Gabrielle's Bridal Atelier.

Linking up with Meg and Macy for Wedding Wednesday, and Ash for Two for Tuesdays.

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